Expert Advice Masters & Disasters of Marriage Quiz
By Dr. John Gottman

What makes Marriage Work?

For the last 25 years at the Family Research Lab at the University of Washington, Dr. John Gottman studied what he calls the “masters and disasters” of marriage. He studies heartrate, facial expression, and how people talk about their relationship to each other and to other people. He’s able to predict with 90% accuracy which couples are going to make it, and which will not. Test the strength of your marriage in this relationship quiz prepared by Gottman.

Give yourself one point for each “yes” answer.
1. I can name my partner’s best friends.

yes

no

2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.

yes

no

3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately.

yes

no

4. I can tell you some of my partner’s life dreams.

yes

no

5. I can tell you about my partner’s basic philosophy of life.

yes

no

6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.

yes

no

7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.

yes

no

When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner.

yes

no

9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.

yes

no

10. My partner really respects me.

yes

no

11. There is fire and passion in this relationship.

yes

no

12. Romance is definitely still part of our relationship.

yes

no

13. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.

yes

no

14. My partner generally likes my personality.

yes

no

15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying.

yes

no

16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me.

yes

no

17. My partner is one of my best friends.

yes

no

18. We just love talking to each other.

yes

no

19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions.

yes

no

20. My partner listens respectfully, even when we disagree.

yes

no

21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver.

yes

no

22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life.

yes

no

Above 12: You have a lot of strength in your relationship. Congratulations!.

7 to 12: This is a pivotal time in your relationship. There are many strengths you can build upon but there are also some weaknesses that need your attention.

6 or fewer yes answers. Your relationship may be in serious trouble. If this scares, you probably still value the relationship enough to try to get help.

To learn more about what makes marriages work, read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman.

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